I need a guy to talk to
Sound familiar? In a recent poll, 42 percent of iVillage visitors say that they have a hard time getting their partner to share his feelings. When that happens, she feels shut out and he feels misunderstood. But in my years as a therapist and author, I've discovered something that many women don't realize. Men want to talk.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Talk To A Guy On The Phone
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 2 Tricks For Approaching Any GuyContent:
5 secrets of getting a man to open up
It can be difficult to approach a guy you have a crush on or are feeling attracted to. Once you recognize that you're interested, it's easy to get nervous that you might make a bad impression. Even so, approaching a guy to get to know him or spend more time with him doesn't have to be stressful. Here's some advice on how to talk to a guy you like the easy way. Talk To Us. When you're prepping yourself to talk to a guy you're interested in, you're afraid you're going to blow it, right?
It's understandable that you want to make a good impression , but you really don't need to concentrate on it too much. Just because you feel infatuated with this guy doesn't mean he's absolutely perfect or that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, even if it may feel that way as your hormones rush over you.
Instead, tell yourself that this guy is just like any other person and that you're only here to chat with him. If you go into the conversation without expectations then you're less likely to have hurt feelings if things don't go as planned. When we plan for things and create a scenario of how they should go, we become quickly disappointed if the reality is different than what we had hoped for.
Having no expectations sets us up for success and helps diminish disappointment. Think of it this way, if you have no expectations of him asking you out, then you won't be upset if he doesn't; however, if he does ask you out then you'll have received more than you were expecting.
What is the most important thing you should look for when initially trying to establish a "more than friends" relationship with someone? Although one of the keys to a successful relationship is looking out for your partner's happiness, you first need to make sure they are worthy of your time.
So first, make sure that you are happy with this person before worrying about whether they are happy with you. Both sides should feel like they would benefit from the relationship without one person bending over backward or being a "doormat. Happiness in a relationship is not about being in a relationship with someone, it is about being happy with who you are when you are with them.
Does this guy support and encourage you to be the best version of yourself, or are you settling for a mediocre person and accepting whatever it is he's willing to give to you? If he is not supporting you emotionally on the road to being the best version of yourself, then maybe he is not the right partner for you. You've probably heard this advice repeatedly, yet many relationship seekers continue to ignore it and sculpt an "ideal self" to display during the early period of getting to know someone.
Unfortunately, that is one of the worst things you can do when starting a relationship because it leads to false expectations from both partners. When your true self starts to show through, as it eventually will, you may find that you have invested time and energy into a relationship that's not mutually enjoyable. This is also related to the point in tip number two - you will only be happy if you can be yourself in your close relationships.
Sometimes it can be difficult to be your true self if you do not have a grasp on who you are. That is perfectly okay. However, you probably have a good idea of the type of person you are deep at heart. Some questions to ask yourself would be: What do I enjoy doing for fun? If you can answer a few of those questions, you will have a better idea of the type of person you are and what you would like in a relationship. If you love to go dancing and attend concerts but the guy you are interested in only likes to stay home, this likely won't work for you in the long term.
If you are just looking for a guy to hang out with and have fun, then it may not matter to you if you have much in common and you might find his interests as something you would like to learn more about.
If this is the case, still, be yourself. There's usually no reason to rush into getting to know someone. For a first conversation , offer a sincere compliment and ask him something about himself. Guys often enjoy getting a chance to talk about their interests most people do!
Not only does he feel good that you're interested in what he wants to talk about, but also you get to find out more about him and whether he would be compatible. After the first date, stay in contact, but don't overdo it. Continue to do your own thing. The best relationships involve two people who still have their own separate interests while finding activities they enjoy doing together.
Guys like to have a little distance when they first start dating someone. They do not want to have a clingy date that becomes another daily chore, so letting them lead the way is a good idea in the beginning.
If they text you to check-in, text them back when you have a moment. You don't need to sit with your phone in your hand waiting to send back an instant reply. Allow yourself time to respond. By waiting a half hour to reply to a casual text, you allow yourself the space to think clearly about your response and you give yourself the time to craft a message that you will not regret.
If things got a little heavy on the first date and now you are thinking that you are in a relationship with him, think again. Sex does not constitute a commitment, most guys will agree with that sentiment. Take time out to get to know him before deciding to have sex again. This way you can decide if this is someone that you want to have a relationship with or if sex is as far as it will go.
If you decide that sexual escapades are all that you see in the future, make sure that he is on board with this before entering into that type of relationship. Just because you had sex on the first date does not mean that that is all he is looking for. Relationships can be difficult to navigate, and if you are just learning about yourself or a potential partner you might need help making sense of things.
Get more early relationship advice from a professional counselor who can help alleviate relationship anxiety. Betterhelp knows how to help guide you and you can feel better about your situation.
Look at the following counselor reviews to see how they have helped others in similar situations. Yet in such a short time, I learned I could share my feelings and thoughts without doubting myself or others. I'll forever be grateful for Venessa and her empathy, and words of wisdom. I look forward now to the next chapter in my life and I have her to thank for it. She is a saint. May god bless her and her family. She puts me at ease quickly and I feel comfortable talking to her.
I would recommend her to anyone who is a bit shy or nervous and needs a gentle touch. Being able to confidently talk to the guy that you like might seem like a dream right now, but you're going to be able to do just fine.
How To Get A Guy To Talk About His Feeeeelings
Updated: March 22, References. When you like a guy a lot, it is natural that you want to talk to him all of the time. There are lots of ways that you can start and strengthen your connection with him so that you both get to talk to each other more like you want. At the start, you can warm up to him by using social media to like his posts and get to know his interests and style. Then you can use a playful icebreaker to start a conversation.
Any man you ask will tell you that eye contact, a smile, and confidence are the surefire ingredients to get him interested , but sometimes we just need a little help to get things going. In an effort to make the going a little easier, here are 15 easy ways to start a conversation with any guy. Ask for a recommendation. From their, offer your own recommendations on the topic at hand and find some common ground. Comment on how gorgeous the space is — or how packed it is — to open up lines of communication and go from there.
How to Get a Guy to Like You
Whether you're trying to hook a new guy or just want to make the dude you're seeing slightly obsessed with you, bust out these tips and he won't stand a chance. Before going out, primp until you've tapped into your inner Kate Upton. When you're looking and feeling your best, guys will sense that uberconfidence, which is practically catnip to men. Get him talking about something he loves. When a guy's talking about something he's really into, he'll get amped and subconsciously associate those feel-good vibes with you. Spritz perfume into your hair before going out, then lightly flip your locks when your guy is near. Scent is the sense that's most closely tied to memory, so he'll associate that sweetness with you as he thinks about you later. Now, clue him in to one of your passions. Research shows that when you're talking about something you love, you'll light up and appear even more attractive to everyone around you.
How To Get a Guy To Talk To You Without Saying a Word
You've probably heard it before—boys love to complain about how confusing girls can be. But us girls know firsthand that understanding guys can be just as complicated. In hopes of helping girls better understand the guy's point of view, we surveyed guys about a way-worthy topic: you! What do guys wish you knew? Blunt, but we like blunt.
Remember, guys think showing any kind of weakness and yes, he thinks sharing his emotions are a weakness will make you think less of him. With the right techniques, you can totally do it — you just need to know how. Start with a joke.
How to Start a Conversation With Any Guy
If this were a movie, he would glide over and introduce himself. Alas, it is not. Still, there are a few ways you can learn how to get a guy to talk to you, no game-playing required! Just like you, they might be shy or insecure.
Men are like oysters: they are hard to open up at first, but once you do, you find his soft, delicious, most vulnerable parts inside. Yep, I have been there, too. Research shows that men typically show their emotions more readily through their behavior and the manner in which they speak than they do through the words they say. Getting a guy talking about his emotional state of mind is like baking a cake: take the 10 ingredients listed below, mix them gently, and let the mixture bake for a while in order to get the best results. For men to open up, they have to trust you first. So work on your relationship and show him that you can be trusted with his deepest emotions.
Guy Talk vs. Girl Talk
Bravo TV's Millionaire Matchmaker , Patti Stanger once told me that when it comes to meeting men, we want to get them to come talk to us without having to speak. Whether you're aiming to give off feminine energy only, or you're shy, or you're in a really loud club, or you're just plain in a foreign country where few people speak your language like me—I'm in Brazil right now , it's good to know how to get a guy to come to you without saying a word. On my flight to Rio, I sat in the back with a bunch of deportees. When we landed, there was an announcement that anyone without a passport or visa had to wait while we deplaned. I thought, Who comes to a foreign country without papers? That's when I heard about the U. Marshals and the handcuffs back at JFK.
How To Talk To A Guy You Like The Easy Way