Why does my boyfriend look at other females
You enter the room and your husband quickly shuts the laptop down. Of course, it could all be innocent, but what if you suspect your husband is looking at ladies online? Should you be worried or is it just boys being boys? Do you confront him outright? Is he bored with you and thinking of having an affair? Are you not good enough for him any more?SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What to do when he checks out other girls
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why Does He Look at Other Women?Content:
- Why Guys Check Out Other Women — And How To Handle It
- Q&A: Why do men look at other women when they have a girlfriend or wife?
- What Does It Mean If My Boyfriend Likes Other Women’s Pictures On Instagram?
- Why Men Look At Other Women
- Your Boyfriend Looks At Other Women? 5 Reasons He’s Looking
- My boyfriend stares at other women
Why Guys Check Out Other Women — And How To Handle It
You watch as the man you love turns his head, looks her up and down, and his eyes linger just a little too long on her breasts, or her backside. A torrent of questions runs through your mind: Does he want her? Is he not attracted to me anymore? Sound familiar? Take me for instance. I love and adore her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I look. And I am not alone. In an alternate universe where he was single and unattached, he might be interested in her as a sexual partner.
Simply put, him looking has nothing to do with you at all. The world is full of beautiful sights — flowers and sunsets, great works of art — none more beautiful than the female body.
The look is really nothing more than that: acknowledging and appreciating beauty when we see it. For men, sexual attraction and emotional connection do not necessarily go hand in hand. We can be attracted to women on a strictly physical level. We can be turned on by women with whom we feel no emotional connection or compatibility. We can be head-over-heels in love, completely devoted to one woman, and still be attracted to other women.
A research study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior revealed big differences in the way men and women are drawn to potential partners. Women tend to be more attracted to men based on familiarity; preferring men who closely resemble their current partner, and rating men more attractive the more often they see them. Men, however, are attracted to novelty. We are drawn toward the new and different, attracted to many different women, with many different features and body types.
This is usually interpreted as being the result of evolution. You could say that our eyes are hardwired to wander. The natural sexual urges and impulses of men are also aggravated by media and advertising that is over-sexualized. Everywhere we look, we are exposed to sexual images and innuendo designed to sell us everything from cars and cologne to beer and cheeseburgers. While it is normal for men to notice other women, to look and admire, and even fantasize a bit, there is a line of respect that a mature and committed man will not cross.
Looking is one thing, staring is another; and it can be hurtful, embarrassing and offensive. As I said before, I cannot help my momentary reaction when I see an attractive woman. But once the moment passes, I quickly turn my attention back to the love of my life, the woman to whom I am faithfully devoted. Blatant staring, inappropriate comments, touching, flirting and obviously cheating are all red flags. It is tempting to assume that because the passion has started to fade, your partner is no longer into you, and he is looking around to explore other options.
For many men, this natural buzz is often enough to drive all thought of other women from our minds, reducing or eliminating our wandering eyes.
Second, during this intense, new love phase both partners tend to idealize each other, completely overlooking annoying habits and traits. Even if your partner did check out another woman in front of you, you might be so infatuated with him that you ignore it, or unconsciously block it out.
But after a year or two, or three at the most, the honeymoon comes to an end. There is a gradual change in the way our brains respond to our partner, and it changes how we feel and act when we are together. For him, his old hunter-gatherer instincts kick in as strong as ever, and he finds that his eyes are once again drawn to every attractive woman who crosses his path.
And she can no longer remain blissfully ignorant. This was certainly the case for me and my relationship. For the first year or two, I was so smitten with my beloved that I scarcely noticed other women. It was the first time I had experienced this, and it was a beautiful thing.
But when that initial, fiery passion began to cool, my eyes started roaming again. Not because I lost interest in her, but because my brain chemistry was changing. We were entering a new phase of our relationship, and the dynamic was changing for both of us.
Up to this point, a love affair is easy and effortless, as both partners are swept up and carried off by the raging storm of their mutual attraction. But in order for a relationship to survive past this point, it takes real honesty, commitment and clear communication on both sides.
A glance does not equal a betrayal. Remember that he loves you, he cares about you, he is committed to you, and he is still attracted to you.
Of all the women in his life, he chooses to be with you. When we hold our partner to impossible standards, it leads to a never-ending cycle of disappointment, hurt feelings, anger and frustration.
No one wins. We have to get real about human nature and sexual desire. There are lots of beautiful women in the world, and you are not the only one that your guy finds attractive. Practice Non-Violent Communication.
Express your honest feelings without blaming, shaming or accusing him. If your partner is committed to making your relationship work, he will be willing to work with you in setting some healthy boundaries.
He should make every effort not to make you uncomfortable or other women, for that matter. And most importantly, he should make it clear to you, in both his words and his actions, that he still wants you, and cares for you; he is still attracted to you, and committed to your relationship. We all need love and emotional connection in order to be happy and fulfilled; men are no exception. Many cultural myths and stereotypes would have us believe that men are emotionally insensitive, and driven by their sexual urges alone.
But the truth is that we men need intimacy, love and affection just as much as women do. A good man is aware of this, and lives his life accordingly. He knows that an emotional and spiritual connection is more fulfilling than a one-night stand; that sex is so much more satisfying, more profound and pleasurable when you share a deep bond with your partner.
His love and respect for you is more powerful than his sexual urges. He looks, appropriately and respectfully, but he does not touch. Above all, he goes out of his way to show you that you are his priority; that he loves you, he cares for you, and out of all the beautiful women he sees every day, you are the one that he chooses, the one that he wants, that he is yours and yours alone. It makes me wonder how much of this is DNA versus social conditioning.
And a number of posts claim that looking at women is normal. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. When he saw her, a chemical reaction happened in his brain.
Neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin were released, giving him an involuntary surge of pleasure. Part of him wants her, or wonders what it would be like to be with her, in a completely harmless and innocent way. You should be angry at him, or jealous of her, or insecure about yourself or your body. He is unfaithful , or that he is going to cheat on you. Your relationship is doomed. Set Realistic Expectations. Tell Him How You Feel. Set Healthy Boundaries.
This post originally appeared at Attract The One. More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday!
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Q&A: Why do men look at other women when they have a girlfriend or wife?
It's understandably upsetting when your boyfriend or husband checks out other women right in front of you. You might even find yourself wondering, "Does he really love me? He has me, so why does he need to look anyone else? The fact of the matter is that his wandering eye and your frustration with it probably has far more to do with some simple differences between men and women than it does his feelings for you. For example, my significant other and I were walking hand-in-hand at the mall one afternoon when a beautiful woman approached.
After all, when you commit to a relationship, you want his eyes on you and on you only. This is understandable. Of course you have you sly girlfriend you. Give me a break lol. Believe it or not but your boyfriend used to be single before he was dating you.
What Does It Mean If My Boyfriend Likes Other Women’s Pictures On Instagram?
Man gawking at another woman iStock. It tends to happen a lot in relationships, but is it normal? Should you just accept this behavior and reason guys will be guys? According to Patrick Kenger, a male image consultant for Pivot Male Image Consulting , a man should aim to make his partner feel valued. Even if you quickly notice another attractive woman, show that you are a creature of higher cognition by avoiding eye contact with attractive strangers in exchange for romantic, locked eye contact with your partner. She will notice and you will be rewarded. Joshua Klapow: We are all attracted to other humans; that is completely normal. Noticing someone, noticing someone is attractive, and making a mental note is normal. However, it is not OK for men to stare, gawk, or let eyes wander for prolonged periods of time if they are in a committed relationship. The noticing is normal, the rest is merely a sign of disrespect to their partner and potentially to the woman they are looking at.
Why Men Look At Other Women
Now, this is something that can actually drive a woman crazy, make her feel sick to her stomach and make her feel unworthy of love. For many of them, looking at other women had become a big problem. Here are 3 reasons people cheat. They struggle with incidents that they feel are out of their control, like a quick glance at a woman on the street — and they feel awful about it, especially if the other woman notices.
You watch as the man you love turns his head, looks her up and down, and his eyes linger just a little too long on her breasts, or her backside. A torrent of questions runs through your mind: Does he want her? Is he not attracted to me anymore?
Your Boyfriend Looks At Other Women? 5 Reasons He’s Looking
I am in a serious relationship with a man that I have known for many years but have only started the relationship in the past few months. Our relationship seems like a dream, we have always cared for each other, but I think our timing was never right. We had started a relationship at 20 and I subsequently broke his heart. He did not communicate his feelings for me which led me to believe there was no future for us and I moved on.
A lot of men struggle with looking at other women. We also receive plenty of questions from men who struggle to keep their eyes on the women they are with. Here's a submission I received from just such a guy and my recommendations on how he can learn to stop. When younger I was just another guy who looks at other women, even when with my wife. I meant no harm, but it upset my wife and hurt her.
My boyfriend stares at other women